Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Gotta get new sheets. ..I fucked the satin off mine.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
