I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Last night I broke through a door, was hospitialized, arrested, and threw my shoe at a bouncer. This summer is gonna be fuckin sick.
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Seriously, I want to give you a plaque thanking you for your dedicated service to my vagina.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
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