I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
