Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
