my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Boobs speak an international language.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
