he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
I think this is the rare instance where the babysitter should get sex as payment from the person being babysat plus you'll get birthday sex. It's a win-win.
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
I should buy myself lingerie for Valentine’s Day instead of a present for you because I am the present
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
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