you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
So this was during drunk golfing. She started wacking me off on the ninth hole and an old couple rolls up next to us. And Says "hey gu- oh my golly" and while my penis is in her hand I'm like "sorry you guys can play through"
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
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