My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Just pulled a Kenny Powers on a snowmobile
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
Randomize
