so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Randomize
