he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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