I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
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