woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Fist pumping is hard when country music is playing FYI but I am committed
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
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