I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
just passed out again, this time at a subway. On a positive not they gave me a free sandwich, pretty sure out pity but at this point i don't care
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Randomize
