Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
