Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Why are all the lights on in my house? Every single one. Someone should turn them off but I'm the only one here and I'm sure as hell not doin it.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize
