hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I feel awkward having to tell people “sorry you can’t finger me because I will get a UTI and I don’t have health insurance”
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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