I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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