Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
