I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
