Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
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