Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
There's a lady here with a big bag of dildos. I'm not sure that's appropriate bar baggage but, I like her style
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
You don't understand. There's baclava and there's post sex baclava. You can't compare the two.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
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