Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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