She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
No stitches, just platelets and will power
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
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