If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
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