The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
