My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Is there an "I fucked your brother" emoji?
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
I party with great urgency now.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
