guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Randomize
