There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I won't apologize to a one balled man
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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