I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
How'd your date go last night?
Well I blacked out at 1:30 and woke up naked in not-my-date's bed with an uneaten Jimmy John's sandwich.
She was drunk, dancing on the table. Until the table leg completely broke off and she fell on the ground and broke her front tooth straight off. Worse news is there making her pay for the table
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
