Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
Randomize
