mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Randomize
