me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Just saw a tranny in a skimpy captain america costume walking around campus. Going to follow her. You gotta see this
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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