HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
