no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Vodka is such a love hate relationship.
Truer words have never been spoken.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
"You're the only girl I haven't made out with yet" = worst pick up line ever
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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