Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
