yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We were in the shower and he sat down an wouldn't do anything. I'm so glad he manscapes. It made washing his balls less awkward.
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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