If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
I just baptized you in budweriser and you were cool with it
Randomize
