I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
