Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Is there some sort of line being crossed when your shower activities start to involve jimmy johns?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
Can you come over?
Sex??
Sure but there’s also a squirrel in my garage I need you to take care of.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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