i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
i’n just gonna forge ahead, gag reflex be DAMNED.
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