So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
she's crying and begging for her chapstick and insisting on walking home...her every thursday ritual
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical�
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
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