I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
This is classic penis vs brain.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
