I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
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