A little boy walked by his parents room one night, looked through the keyhole, and said "and that bitch tells me to stop sucking my thumb!"
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I feel like the devil is trying to impregnate me through my eyeballs.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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