It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
I hope you're ready because I look like an elf on crack had a baby in the medieval era and that baby grew up to be a whore
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
the funny thing was, all i remember was a liter of vodka and going to oneonta for the night. then 2 weeks later bam, i get a letter banning me from campus for the next 4 years. awesome convorsation with my dad to wake up to.
Randomize
