Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
