It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
My diabetic professor who apparently didn't eat anything all day keeps passing out. I gave him a joint. He's gonna be fine.
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
