After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
Things got outta hand once she told me to water-board her with Patron.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
Woke up with a pineapple again... where do i keep on getting these ??
Randomize
