I'm going to rape someone's good day.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
Are you jealous of my sweatsuit? It's how I get men on Tinder.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Randomize
