So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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